fbpx
Wellbeing on Your LifeJourney

Mindset: Take control and make your life your own. Own it!

 

You can achieve anything with the correct mindset. Take control and make your life your own!

‘Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve’  

– Napoleon Hill 

pinterest pin with pink and white flowers in background - how to change your mindset to make the life you want

Recently, someone asked me where I was in life, in relation to happiness, love and health. My simple answer to that question was that all three were working together in absolute harmony.

Lucky? No. I created this. I own it!

It sounds too good to be true, I know. Not that I don’t have days where I might feel sad, flat or frustrated, but overall life is wonderful. Why? Because I’m in control of it and I have a strong belief in myself.

girl running in the middle of a filed with trees and mountains in the background

About six years ago, things were very different…

An Unexpected Jolt

I was on playground duty, watching the passing minutes slowly tick by. Why do they last so long when you are watching them but can whiz crazily by when you’re not? Anyway, the last thing I remember was a severe knock to my head; I thought maybe a meteorite had fallen from the sky. However, the meteorite was nothing more than a basketball that had been kicked over a classroom roof.

The result was an impressive concussion. Severe headaches and waves of vertigo played with me for months. Life had to drastically slow down. Another side effect was that I had time to think. Time to reflect on how I was living my life. I worked full-time as a teacher, had three teenage boys, a house and a garden to look after. I had no time to exercise and I didn’t have time for me, and like many other mums I know, I rarely even had time to think.

Stuck in a Rut

I realised I was in a rut! That old cliché. It can strike at any time, at work, in relationships and in life in general. Those ruts can drag us down so deep, that sometimes it seems just too difficult to lift ourselves back out. You feel stressed, bored with your routine and life seems so mundane. You resign yourself to thinking that this is how it is going to be from here on in.

Life was just too busy – I was lost in all the things that I thought needed to be done and had lost myself in the process.  I was feeling like I was on a constant spin cycle – with little chance to come up for air.

Three photos all te same but in different positions - it is a blurry head that looks like it is in a washing machine

A Big Fat Yes!

It was at this point that I serendipitously came across a coaching program being held for women. The universe … fate, whatever, had presented it to me at the perfect time.

The questions on the flyer had me screaming a big fat “YES”, to all of them.

–  Do your good intentions get hijacked by life’s demands and other people’s needs?

–  Do you feel burnout, tired and exhausted and you just want to press the ‘pause’ button on life for a moment?

–  Are you curious to know more about yourself, why you do what you do and are you looking for an opportunity to refocus on what is important to you?

–  Have you had trouble breaking unhealthy habits that stop you from achieving good health and fitness?

The program was designed particularly for women, the ‘Vitality Fit Program’, and just being with other women, in the same boat, was somehow empowering. We gave each other encouragement and support. Something I’d like to emulate with the life journey part of this blog.

Three photos - the first of a woman with a backpack in the mountains, the second a girl on a mountain climbing the side of it and the third a woman on a bike with a backpack and smiling at the camera

What Did I Learn?

I learnt about:

  • Various tools which would help me to develop my mindset
  • How to replace the beliefs and habits that weren’t working for me and replace them with ones that would.
  • How I was in control of my mind and emotions.

My coach had the uncanny ability to ask the right questions so I could see the answers myself, and steer me in the right direction. I gained the confidence to believe that I could create the life that I wanted.

“The quality of your life is a reflection of the quality of the questions you ask yourself.”             

 – Tony Robbins

Three photos all the same object - woman with backpack looking out over a lake and mountains with a reflection. Each photo is a slightly different colour one beige and one grey and one greeny blue.

 What is Mindset?

 There are many articles out there for you to find out more about ‘Positive Mindset’ and ‘growth mindset’, and I would encourage you to do so. But here are the main takeaways to get you started.

Your mindset covers your beliefs, attitudes and values

One belief I had that was holding me back was that it would be ‘selfish’ if I took time out for me. This was just a belief that I had developed at some point in my life. Regardless of where it came from, I needed to change it 

Neuroscience supports the basics of mindset.

Creating neural pathways by thinking or doing something repeatedly becomes a habit. Therefore, as a result, small changes that you make every day can build a new mindset and thus result in new outcomes in your life. So there is a science behind this — it’s not just ‘in your head’.

A healthy, positive mindset enables you to change all aspects of your life. 

Your thoughts are crucial to the development of your feelings, and as a result, you can control how you react. Controlling how we react is solely our responsibility. The situations we often find ourselves in are outside the remit of our control but knowing you are in control of your reactions gives you back the power.

A positive mindset changes your attitudes and consequently your outcomes

You can fine-tune those inner doubts and create a positive inner dialogue. Studies show that what you believe is possible makes a difference in what you can achieve.

Having a positive mindset doesn’t mean you will never fail, but you learn from the situation and change something in order for you to succeed. As a result, you view setbacks as an opportunity to grow. 

michelle in foreground wearing a white top with Krka Waterfalls in the background - lots of cascading waterfalls on bluey green waterKrka National Park Falls, Croatia – I’d admired the photos of this place many times and here I was … in my photo! In control and living the life, I had dreamt of.

Developing a Positive Mindset

It’s not something that happens overnight, but in a short space of time, my life was changing for the better. Having a coach to guide me was really useful. Sometimes you already know the answer, but having someone to ask the right questions and guide your thoughts makes it easier to see the wood from the trees. 

Over time, little changes grew into big ones and I was beginning to get a handle on my ‘Mindset’. I  exercised regularly and took time out for me. I found my love of painting again and allowed my creative side to bloom. For me, this was a form of mediation. I read more and even took time out to relax in the hammock. 

I realised that just because I spent fewer hours planning and researching brilliant lessons, this didn’t make me any less of a good teacher.  Subsequently, these ‘little by little’ changes began to make a tangible difference. I asked my sons to each make one meal a week, and as a result, I had ‘created’ more time. Did I feel guilty? Not with my new mindset – I was a happier person to be around, and I learnt to love myself as much as I loved everyone else. 

I was nailing it!

woman with her back to the camera looking downstream at a river with many white pebbles and rocks.

The Ultimate Test

Then something happened that rocked my world. My 20-year marriage fell apart. At the time, I was devastated, confused, and torn between what was best for someone else and what was best for me. It was a situation that seemed like a never-ending spiral of despair. My world had turned upside down and topsy-turvy but I had my ‘mindset’ working with me. I was almost knocked off kilter but I steadied myself, took the reins and regained control. 

It wasn’t easy. I had to make a decision that went against so many of my embedded beliefs. If I kept them, it would mean I would be unhappy. It was a huge challenge to keep up a positive mindset amidst the chaos, but I knew how important it was that I did so.  

I believed I’d be ok. I believed I could do it, and I believed that however bad things seemed at the time … there would be even better things ahead. 

In the turmoil, I stayed focused and used my mind to get me through… and get me through it did.  I continued to improve each little aspect of my life. I even completed a 12km True Grit Obstacle Course with my three boys, which was one of the goals I set for myself. A few years earlier, I would have laughed in your face at the very thought!

three photos in a row - one of a woman clambering along the ground under barbed wire, covered in mud. The second the woman with three young men all wearing sport wear and soaking wet having just waded through a river. The third the same woman with arms in air smiling in celebration. It represent what you can do when you apply the correct mindset

‘Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve’ , Napoleon Hill

It is work in progress, but with the most important tool in my toolbox – a positive growth mindset – life is definitely easier and I have found contentment. 

Health, Love and Happiness

I have never been healthier, (though these peri-menopausal hot flushes are appearing rather often … but that’s just one of nature’s gifts to most women around my age!). I now keep up a healthy balance of regular exercise and nutritious food, with the occasional indulgence of dark chocolate! Well, maybe slightly more than the occasional indulgence;) 

In addition, I am deeply in love with a man who loves me to pieces and for who I am totally enough. 

I have three gorgeous sons who I adore and with whom I have a fantastic relationship – even though they love to tease me incessantly!

 I am lucky to have amazing friends who are very special to me.

Now, travelling the world, I am living a life I love and working on that mindset to make sure I will always be living my best life. 

Family photo of Michelle and Lars with her three boys. in the snow

Yes. I am happy, healthy and surrounded by love.

Lucky? No. I created this. 

I own it!

Live your life now … not ‘one day’!  Are you satisfying your soul? 

If this post resonated with you or you have a story that may help others, please leave a comment. I ‘d love to hear your own experiences and how your mindset has helped you.

I look forward to hearing from you. x

Michelle

Like this post? Why not pin it?Pinterest pin with words 'The importance of your mindset - picyure of a blue flowerwd path among trees.

Further Information

 (This is not an affiliate link and I paid for all my services).  Sharon and Mark, of Uplifting Wellness, can help you build a positive and healthy mindset to give you the energy and control that you need to gain positive outcomes. You can contact them by email at sharon@upliftingwellness.com.au  or phone (+61) 428 336123. Coaching is available either in person or over the phone/internet.

Michelle

Author: Michelle

After finishing my Law Degree I decided to become a teacher. I am passionate about teaching, learning and most of all, about inspiring others. Now, as a writer and blogger, I love sharing our travels and our musings on life’s journey. I hope, through these, we can play a part in inspiring you to do whatever ‘satisfies your soul’.

6 Comment

  1. Great article and totally understand being in a rut. Being coaches we are big into mindsets. If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend Mindset the New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. It talks about fixed vs growth mindsets. I found it eye opening!

  2. I totally get this, and Sharon and Mark really helped me too. I was over-stressed for a long time at work, and ended up being diagnosed with depression. It took me a long time to recognise that this wasn’t ok, and by that time I had put on lots of weight (stress eating…), it was affecting my relationship, I developed this thing called spinal dizziness (which ironically, physically creates depression) and I was very unhappy. But I sought help from a lovely pshychologist and an exceptional physiotherapist, overcame my depression, and, while it took a long time for me to develop a positive mindset, and actively make changes, once I got there, things changed incredibly quickly for me. I made the difficult decision to quit my job, and walk away from a lot of exciting opportunities, benefits and most importantly, friends at that job. Then things started to fall into place – I got motivated to lose the extra kilos, and lost 22kg in 4 months (and counting!), developed a maintainable healthy lifestyle, found a new job which is challenging and rewarding, but so far, without a lot of stress, and I have all this energy to do things I haven’t done in ages. Motivation comes easily to me now and whilst the past few years has been incredibly difficult, I have learnt so much, and I even appreciate those tough times, because it has made me appreciate these great times a whole lot more, and I am a stronger, more capable person than before. I have no idea what the future holds career wise, but I took a risk, and I’m completely fine with not knowing, thanks to a positive attitude and some sort of inner knowledge that everything will work out in the end.

    1. Hi Denise,
      Reading this made me feel so happy, knowing that you have overcome such a huge challenge in your life and you have turned it around. That ‘inner knowledge’ you mention, is so important and when we listen to it and really believe in ourselves we can achieve anything – just like you have, and are still doing. Thank you so much for sharing your story. So many others will relate to this and see that there is a way forward. You are testament to that. You have found that ‘mindset’ you needed and although not easy, you are definitely ‘owning it’ now! What you have achieved is amazing and so inspirational for all.

  3. Totally with you on this Michelle. I ve always had a positive outlook and when I got breast cancer 2 years ago I saw it as a challenge but also an opportunity. People said I was inspirational – I wasnt but I chose to approach it in the only way I know how. It has also made me rethink my life and I “ don’t sweat the small stuff” anymore. I’ve done mindfulness and meditation and also started yoga

    1. Thank you so much for sharing Deb. You are inspirational, as you chose to believe in yourself and have made changes that help you and your health.
      Not only does your positive mindset help you – it radiates from you and that positivity effects those around you ❤️

LEAVE A COMMENT - We'd love to hear from you

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial